1 00:00:29,041 --> 00:00:32,666 WHAT HURTS THE MOST 2 00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:13,000 - John´s always been an ideal son. 3 00:02:15,416 --> 00:02:17,541 - We met in school. 4 00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:23,041 - As a child he was very caring and, like all kids, restless and a bit naughty. 5 00:02:23,958 --> 00:02:28,875 - How old were we? Twelve? Thirteen? 6 00:02:29,791 --> 00:02:34,875 - He used to love to go to school. He had a lot of friends there. 7 00:02:35,750 --> 00:02:37,916 - He wasn´t in my group. 8 00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:40,500 - The truth is he never was a great student. 9 00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:45,166 - I still remember the very first time he came up to me and... 10 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:48,500 ...avoiding eye contact, asked me in a low voice: 11 00:02:49,041 --> 00:02:51,541 “Do you want to do the Visual Arts project with me? “ 12 00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:55,583 - He did work hard though and was always very organized. 13 00:02:56,583 --> 00:03:00,541 - I agreed, of course. I admit I also had a crush on him. 14 00:03:01,458 --> 00:03:05,583 - Once he started giggling, he could go on for hours on end. 15 00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:08,000 - He was so ticklish! 16 00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:10,000 - There was no stopping him. 17 00:03:10,916 --> 00:03:17,250 - At first, it wasn´t easy to get closer to him because of his unease and all his giggling. 18 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:22,250 - He got along with everyone; he had no enemies. 19 00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:26,916 - He ended up becoming one of the group, 20 00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:30,541 and sometimes I felt jealous because my friends loved him more than they did me. 21 00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:33,375 - Other kids´mothers used to say to me: 22 00:03:33,375 --> 00:03:37,166 ”Wait until he´s a teenager. They all change drastically.” 23 00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:39,750 - My friends would tell me: 24 00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:44,208 “Now he´s charming because you´ve just started going out. Just wait and see in a couple of months.” 25 00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:48,083 - But, actually, he didn´t change all that much in adolescence. 26 00:03:48,625 --> 00:03:51,125 Well, he was constantly going in and out ... 27 00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:54,333 ...but never without giving me a kiss. 28 00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:57,458 - Our relationship grew over time. 29 00:03:58,041 --> 00:04:00,833 - I used to tell him: “The girl that catches you will be a lucky one.” 30 00:04:01,916 --> 00:04:04,708 - And suddenly one day we decided to go steady. 31 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:09,833 - When he started dating it was amazing, they were always together. 32 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,083 - We spent all our time together. 33 00:04:12,708 --> 00:04:15,500 - Soon he began bringing her for dinner on Sundays. 34 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,583 - His mother´s paella was brilliant. 35 00:04:22,791 --> 00:04:24,291 - She was a delightful girl. 36 00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:26,208 - His family was very nice. 37 00:04:27,416 --> 00:04:31,291 His mother´s a darling; his father is so stylish. 38 00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:34,750 - They had a wonderful courtship. 39 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:39,541 - We were eager to become of age so we could marry, become independant… 40 00:04:39,541 --> 00:04:41,958 ...all those things that people used to do. 41 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:44,958 - They seemed in a hurry to have kids. 42 00:04:44,958 --> 00:04:47,125 - First of all, we had to finish our studies. 43 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,208 - She studied Nursing, and he, Mechanics. 44 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,916 - We found work right away. 45 00:04:53,041 --> 00:04:55,166 - Everything was going well for them. 46 00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:58,208 - We began saving money. 47 00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:00,250 We wanted to have our own home. 48 00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:02,833 - We helped them with the down payment. 49 00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:05,875 - His parents paid the down payment and mine paid for the furniture. 50 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:11,000 - Once the house was ready, they started thinking about a wedding date. 51 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,458 - The 18th of April. 52 00:05:14,083 --> 00:05:15,666 - A civil wedding. 53 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,333 - No churches! 54 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,083 - His family are nonbelievers. 55 00:05:21,541 --> 00:05:25,958 - God is one thing, but priests are something else again. 56 00:05:26,541 --> 00:05:28,916 - Well, if there´s no other choice. 57 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,791 - It was a beautiful wedding. 58 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:37,625 - All family members on both sides were in attendance. 59 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,041 - I don´t recall ever seeing my parents so happy. 60 00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:45,125 - We had a really great time. 61 00:05:46,083 --> 00:05:48,625 - It was like a fairytale. 62 00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:51,916 - But best of all was when my grandchildren were born. 63 00:05:56,416 --> 00:06:00,250 - The first one arrived just a year after our wedding, the second the following year. 64 00:06:00,666 --> 00:06:04,916 - We pretty much brought them up because their parents were working all day long. 65 00:06:04,916 --> 00:06:08,750 - You know, these youngsters want to have it all. 66 00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:13,208 - That´s when trouble began. 67 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,125 - They couldn´t have been happier. 68 00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:22,750 - He was never home. 69 00:06:24,541 --> 00:06:26,583 - He worked for a construction company. 70 00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:29,750 Not really his thing, but it´s what he could find. 71 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:35,208 - He had lots of work, or, at least, that´s what he used to say. 72 00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:39,416 - The company had projects both in Madrid and in other locations. 73 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:41,708 - He worked too much. 74 00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:43,250 - He travelled too much. 75 00:06:45,208 --> 00:06:46,750 -Too much. -Too much. 76 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,875 - He was willing to do anything to support his family. 77 00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:54,666 - He hardly brough in any money. 78 00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:57,583 He said the company wasn´t doing well. 79 00:06:58,291 --> 00:07:01,333 - It was a major company. 80 00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:06,208 - He said he didn´t feel comfortable asking for overtime pay. 81 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,791 - He worked as a foreman. 82 00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:11,416 - Where´s anyone seen a supervisor with such scruples? 83 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,916 - He had a lot of weight on his shoulders... 84 00:07:13,916 --> 00:07:16,333 ...but he always kept his smile. 85 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:29,000 - He was short-tempered at home and would give me dirty looks. 86 00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:32,458 - He worshipped his wife. 87 00:07:34,791 --> 00:07:36,750 - We used to argue all the time. 88 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,833 - He was crazy about his kids. 89 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,291 - And he´d yell at the kids for everything and nothing. 90 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:45,208 - Everything he had was for his family. 91 00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:50,791 - He began to drink. 92 00:07:51,208 --> 00:07:53,291 - He had nothing of his own. 93 00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:59,208 - He squandered all his salary on booze and gambling. 94 00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:03,333 - He was an honorable man. 95 00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:08,083 - There were times when he couldn´t stand up straight. 96 00:08:08,791 --> 00:08:10,458 - He always cared for everyone. 97 00:08:11,083 --> 00:08:14,875 - As time went by, he became more and more inflexible with me and the kids. 98 00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:18,208 - He used to call us every day. 99 00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:21,583 - He made my life hell. 100 00:08:24,458 --> 00:08:31,208 - But that day, I don´t know what happened that day. 101 00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:36,916 - That day… 102 00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:40,291 - He didn´t deserve what happened to him. 103 00:08:41,708 --> 00:08:46,833 - He had lost it. He was throwing everything he could lay his hands on at me. 104 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,000 - He didn´t deserve that. 105 00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:58,333 - He left everything in shambles on his way out. 106 00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:02,083 - He left home like any other day. 107 00:09:04,291 --> 00:09:09,500 - A coworker said he arrived in a rage. 108 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,833 - It was just an ordinary day at work. 109 00:09:14,833 --> 00:09:16,958 - They noticed he reeked of alcohol. 110 00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:20,708 - He was always very responsible. 111 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:30,791 - He climbed the scaffolding carelessly, without his helmet. 112 00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:34,250 - He always complied with security measures. 113 00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:40,333 - Once he reached the top... 114 00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,291 ...he started yelling. 115 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,791 - I don´t know, something must have gone wrong. 116 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,875 - They saw him slip. 117 00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:58,000 - The harness…, the clip… God! 118 00:09:58,416 --> 00:10:02,375 - He tried to grab on, but he failed. 119 00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:08,291 - The blow to his head must have been so severe. 120 00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:15,458 - He died on the spot. 121 00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:19,583 - There were so many things he still wanted to do. 122 00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:27,666 - I shouldn´t have contradicted him. 123 00:10:29,791 --> 00:10:31,500 - A tragedy! 124 00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:33,958 - My fault. 125 00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,500 - A tragedy! 126 00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:47,791 - He was irresponsible, an alcoholic... 127 00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,375 ...an abuser. 128 00:10:52,458 --> 00:10:57,458 - An oversight, a mistake, an accident. 129 00:11:00,958 --> 00:11:03,416 - We´ve shattered two thousand cherished memories. 130 00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:06,375 - An unbearable pain. 131 00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:14,750 - Bad luck! I don´t know. 132 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:20,375 - I still remember the last time I saw him. 133 00:11:21,166 --> 00:11:23,208 - A relief! 134 00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:30,041 - He kissed me and said: ¨I love you, Mom¨ 135 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,833 - We´ve shattered two thousand cherished memories. 136 00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:39,000 - I love you. 137 00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:45,041 - He never laid a hand on me, but his words... 138 00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:46,708 - My child. 139 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,541 - ...hurt so much. 140 00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:57,916 - She decided to leave the city with the kids. 141 00:11:57,916 --> 00:12:00,791 - I didn´t tell his parents what their son was really like. 142 00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,500 - I haven´t seen them for months. 143 00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:09,750 - I fled from everything that reminded me of him. 144 00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:13,875 - I miss them so much. 145 00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:27,083 - I´m not going back there. 146 00:12:28,291 --> 00:12:32,666 - That day my life grounded to a halt. 147 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:38,791 That day my light went out. 148 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:43,833 -That day I recovered my life. 149 00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:58,875 WE TALK ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, STATISTICS, AND WE PUT FACES TO BOTH VICTIMS AND PERPETRATORS, 150 00:12:58,875 --> 00:13:03,291 BUT THE FACT IS THAT ALL ACTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HAVE PREVIOUSLY ENTAILED PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE. 151 00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:07,333 EVEN IN CASES WHERE PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE DOES NOT BECOME PHYSICAL, IT MAY CAUSE THE VICTIM IRREPARABLE HARM. 152 00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:11,250 YOUR HELP IS ESSENTIAL. PLEASE REPORT ANY BEHAVIOR YOU DEEM ABUSIVE BY CALLING THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE AT 016. 153 00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:14,041 WHAT HURTS THE MOST