1
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,520
IN ASSOCIATION WITH

2
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,360
I feel relaxed after taking it.

3
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:34,800
I forget all my problems,
the worries I have.

4
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,640
I don't give a damn about anyone.

5
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,960
I'm scared. The fear is always there.

6
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,640
What if my child saw it?

7
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,840
What would he think about his mum?

8
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,600
I liked seeing others getting high.

9
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:29,000
I enjoyed watching others getting high.

10
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,160
I felt I needed to try at least once.

11
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,120
And then I tried it.

12
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:21,320
What happened was that even tasting 
the stuff made me feel good.

13
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,400
Everybody wants to get high 
and go to heaven.

14
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:37,360
It makes you feel great about yourself 
and you keep taking it.

15
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:30,200
I took the drugs as if they were an elixir.

16
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,920
They made me feel as if I could go anywhere,

17
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,720
as if I could deal with anybody or anything.

18
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,720
That's how I got hooked up.

19
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,880
You get to fly high when you take it.

20
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,880
Without that we can't live.

21
14:44:18,280 --> 14:44:20,760
Without trip, without taking drug.

22
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,640
We get lost in our own world and we just

23
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,640
forget all our troubles,

24
16:30:37,440 --> 16:30:39,120
pain, all things,

25
16:30:41,200 --> 16:30:45,040
and we are just in our own world.

26
15:02:36,640 --> 15:02:39,200
I'm not happy with this life.

27
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,320
I never thought I would come to this.

28
00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,920
I vowed I would never inject it, but I did it.

29
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,200
I never wanted to inject it straight 
into my artery, but I did it.

30
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,880
I got deeply hooked.

31
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,480
At first I did it because I liked it,

32
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,240
but later because I needed it.

33
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:17,960
It's hard...

34
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,640
NOVEMBER

35
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,200
Female drug addiction is seen as a taboo in Nepal

36
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:19,200
The numbers of drug users are increasing, but 
there are very few facilities attending female users

37
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:26,720
They don't know where they can find help 
and live a dangerous life, often as sex workers

38
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:37,360
Most female drug users suffer rejection by
their families and discrimination by society

39
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:48,920
Only a group of former junkies
supports and rescues female drug users
who live in hiding as outcasts of society

40
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,320
ANNIE

41
10:59:08,880 --> 10:59:12,640
I am 28 years old.

42
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,400
I work with female drug users,

43
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,560
I provide oral substitution drugs to them

44
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:41,640
and I hand them needles and syringes.

45
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:22,280
I quit drugs five years ago, on May 15th.

46
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:34,480
I’ve been working in the field 
for three years now.

47
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:33,040
Annie received a call to check on Nisha and 
Deepak who have trouble taking care of their baby

48
13:34:00,880 --> 13:34:05,200
Hey, your useless love for 
the baby isn’t working,

49
13:36:15,640 --> 13:36:16,880
You can't even get clean.

50
13:38:07,200 --> 13:38:10,640
You want to keep the baby but 
you can't even feed him.

51
13:38:49,200 --> 13:38:52,640
He's so good, he doesn't even cry.

52
13:39:40,720 --> 13:39:43,600
I have told her already yesterday; 
I am totally sick from withdrawing.

53
13:39:46,560 --> 13:39:48,320
I haven't even looked at 
the baby since yesterday.

54
13:40:07,760 --> 13:40:09,920
It's useless to tell them anything.

55
13:42:43,560 --> 13:42:47,280
That's what happens.

56
13:46:24,880 --> 13:46:27,880
I can't even...

57
13:46:31,280 --> 13:46:32,800
You can't take care?

58
13:46:34,480 --> 13:46:36,200
Can't even look at him.

59
13:46:49,600 --> 13:46:52,120
If I'm like this, how can I?...

60
13:47:13,080 --> 13:47:17,080
Drugs gave me wings to fly,
but took my sky away.

61
13:47:22,200 --> 13:47:23,800
This is what has happened to my life:

62
13:47:25,640 --> 13:47:28,120
I don't have a mother and 
don't have a father.

63
13:47:31,000 --> 13:47:33,600
And because of drugs I will 
lose my baby as well.

64
13:47:37,560 --> 13:47:40,160
Are you aware of this now?

65
13:47:43,000 --> 13:47:46,640
I told you this would happen when 
you were still pregnant.

66
13:50:13,560 --> 13:50:18,240
Look at yourself. At least your parents 
gave you life and good health.

67
13:50:23,680 --> 13:50:26,800
You got into this mess on your own.

68
13:50:30,200 --> 13:50:36,400
I could write down how you are not able to 
do much for this baby, you understand?

69
13:49:44,800 --> 13:49:50,640
But it woudn't work. You guys can use drugs, 
die, do whatever you want,

70
13:49:56,880 --> 13:49:59,880
walk around, inject, get sick.

71
13:48:39,560 --> 13:48:43,400
But give up the baby even 
if it is to someone like a porter.

72
13:49:46,160 --> 13:49:54,240
I don't know if I'll live or die.

73
13:52:40,480 --> 13:52:45,560
I'm missing my mum and dad a lot.

74
13:51:39,200 --> 13:51:41,240
''You know Kathmandu?''

75
13:51:44,160 --> 13:51:46,920
What to do what to do?

76
13:51:50,640 --> 13:51:53,800
My mum and dad also ''junkie to do''.

77
13:52:02,720 --> 13:52:07,920
I never thought my life would be like this.

78
13:55:10,120 --> 13:55:12,840
He makes a gargling sound when he breathes.

79
13:55:23,320 --> 13:55:25,600
I think he has chest problems because

80
13:55:28,280 --> 13:55:32,440
I was using drugs until the seventh 
month in my pregnancy.

81
13:55:43,160 --> 13:55:49,600
We haven’t had anything proper to 
feed him with in the last three days.

82
20:12:20,640 --> 20:12:25,280
I decided to give my baby to someone...

83
14:45:17,840 --> 14:45:23,080
A person that can give all happiness. 
All things that he needs.

84
14:45:29,640 --> 14:45:34,880
And a family that can love him like a real
mother, father.

85
14:45:41,200 --> 14:45:42,160
And...

86
14:45:53,120 --> 14:45:54,160
And...

87
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:49,880
ONCE I WAS A GIRL

88
11:06:07,600 --> 11:06:10,520
I felt lonely at home.

89
11:06:13,840 --> 11:06:17,240
There were always fights 
between my mum and my dad.

90
11:06:21,840 --> 11:06:25,120
My dad was an alcoholic.

91
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:22,440
When I was little I always wanted to be an
air hostess because I was told I was pretty.

92
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:28,560
Hearing this I wanted very badly 
to be an air hostess,

93
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:29,920
but as I grew older I was 
not getting any taller.

94
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:55,000
Life was good but my mom 
used to drink a lot of alcohol.

95
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:48,880
I wanted to join the army. 
That was my biggest dream.

96
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:10,600
I like machine guns, that's why I like the army.

97
00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:01,720
I grew up with my mum's sister and brother.

98
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:39,280
My mum's sister was a teacher 
and I wanted to be like her.

99
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:50,720
That was my dream, but I didn't 
finish my education.

100
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:36,120
At that age I couldn't tell 
bad from good,

101
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,480
and there was no one to guide me.

102
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,600
I was the first girl in school,

103
14:56:38,600 --> 14:56:42,720
and in college I just met my 
elder brother's friends

104
14:56:47,200 --> 14:56:49,240
who used to take drugs

105
14:56:52,800 --> 14:56:55,680
and, by involving with them,

106
14:56:59,120 --> 14:57:01,680
I started taking drugs and 
my studies just got lost.

107
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:27,040
I had no family. I used to live in a 
hostel and hang out with friends.

108
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:32,440
I had money and used to hang out with older 
people; my behavior started to deteriorate.

109
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,200
I had no clue that I would fall so deeply into
drugs, because I didn't have any knowledge.

110
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,360
I never thought I would end up like this.

111
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,240
At home, my father used to ask me,

112
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,040
"what do you want to be when you grow up?"

113
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:44,680
I said I wanted to be a doctor, because my father 
was sick with tuberculosis at that time.

114
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,480
I couldn’t finish my education,
how could I fulfil my dream?

115
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,680
I had the chance to complete my studies,

116
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:23,600
but I missed the opportunity 
and damaged my own life.

117
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,080
DOLMA

118
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:43,760
My name is Dolma Tamang. 
I'm twenty-two years old.

119
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:52,080
This is the lowest point in my life, 
working in Thamel, selling my body.

120
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,360
This is the hardest time in my life.

121
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:04,280
I feel ashamed of myself.
I have lost my dignity.

122
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,960
I feel my life is over.

123
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:33,440
I feel scared, not for me
but for my son.

124
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,840
What happens to him if I die?

125
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,480
I haven't even been able to 
send my son to school.

126
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,760
My son sees what I do. 
He knows it's a syringe.

127
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,240
He knows that these are drugs. 
He knows everything.

128
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,400
My son asks me 
not to use these things.

129
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,800
He follows me where I'm injecting 
and grabs the syringes.

130
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,880
There is so... Everyone used.

131
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:32,200
No money... No money to buy this...

132
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:38,040
This washed... And this also used.

133
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:55,280
I feel bad and try to keep him away,

134
00:16:55,720 --> 00:17:03,400
because he always cries whenever he 
sees me injecting, and tells me to not do it.

135
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:36,880
GETTING HOOKED UP

136
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,760
I used it for the first time 
when I was fourteen.

137
00:17:56,320 --> 00:18:01,920
I didn’t get hooked then, but when 
I was 16 or 17 I was hooked.

138
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,960
Now I am 22 and 
I'm still injecting.

139
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,040
MARY

140
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,280
I started using drugs at the age 
of 18, when I was in 12th grade.

141
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:52,320
When I was in 12th grade I 
started to take “brown sugar” [raw heroine],

142
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:57,120
and I slowly became an 
injecting drug user.

143
00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:02,320
I’m in the aftercare phase of the treatment. 
I have been here six months already.

144
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,800
This is my last week, so I'll go home
in four or five days.

145
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,040
BIKENS

146
12:42:45,040 --> 12:42:49,080
I started using pills when I was twelve,

147
12:43:11,760 --> 12:43:17,560
and slowly, slowly, I started
to take “brown sugar”.

148
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,200
Right now I'm working at the Grace 
FoundationRehab Center.

149
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,720
Yes, I'm married and I have a daughter.

150
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,160
And she is now 5 months old.

151
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,760
And she stays with me here in the rehab.

152
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:54,760
PUJA

153
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:08,240
Right now, I’m program officer
at the Grace Foundation.

154
12:46:23,360 --> 12:46:26,160
I was a drug user for 
three and a half years.

155
12:46:45,240 --> 12:46:47,920
A lot of bad things happened during that time.

156
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,080
Is it okay if I don't.... ?

157
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,640
NISHA

158
15:36:37,320 --> 15:36:39,280
I'm a big fan of Kurt Cobain.

159
15:36:55,240 --> 15:37:01,880
and by hearing his songs, 
his attitude, his style,

160
15:24:27,520 --> 15:24:33,880
I became too influenced and 
I started taking drugs.

161
15:39:28,240 --> 15:39:30,400
I don't know, I...

162
15:39:09,360 --> 15:39:12,040
I just can't... can't quit the drugs.

163
14:46:46,520 --> 14:46:48,080
I don't know why.

164
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,720
yANGZEE

165
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,200
Both of my parents are dead.

166
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,400
That's when I got involved with drugs.

167
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:31,440
But my life is okay now. I'm taking 
Methadone at an organisation.

168
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:14,600
I'm twenty four and I live alone.

169
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:25,760
The reason I moved to Thamel was that I could 
buy medicines and get money for my mum.

170
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,800
My auntie told me to 
work as a prostitute.

171
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:01,720
I felt like I had fallen from a roof,

172
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,760
but I made my heart strong 
and decided to do it.

173
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:06,160
Even though I was still a virgin 
I made my heart strong.

174
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:16,280
I cried a lot but I had to do it for the money.

175
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:26,480
I'm a human being, not an animal.

176
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,640
Those moments were very hard for me.

177
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,640
That's when I started to use drugs.

178
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:18,360
I couldn't work sober but after 
taking drugs I could bear it.

179
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,360
I did it for my mum.

180
00:48:54,720 --> 00:48:57,160
Drugs made my work easy and bearable.

181
00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:59,760
DEBIKA

182
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,440
I've been hooked on this 
stuff for a long time.

183
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:39,520
I was 12 or 13 at that time.

184
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:43,640
I wouldn't wish even to my enemies to get 
hooked on this stuff. This is how I feel.

185
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:47,280
But when I have this stuff in front of me
I forget everything and just get high.

186
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,840
I’m twenty six years old.

187
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:14,400
I've been using drugs for 13 or 14 years now.

188
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,520
I started going to clubs.

189
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:26,200
I met people living in this area 
and we became friends.

190
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:36,200
I was always taking more, always ahead 
on taking the bad stuff.

191
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:31,440
We asked, “what's Pani like?”
We were 15 or 16 at that time.

192
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,640
A new cheap drug is spreading in Nepal

193
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,960
पानी ,जल [Pani] - Water

194
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:53,640
Pani is slang for a combination of the pharmaceutical 
drugs Diazepam, Phenergan, Stagon and Avil.

195
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,400
It is used by directly injecting into the vein

196
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,480
Pani is easily available and highly addictive

197
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:45,840
LIVING WITH PANI

198
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,040
I'm feeling very sick, bloody hell.

199
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:09,440
What have I gotten myself into? 
This shit, this Pani…

200
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:15,160
I should have never touched it, 
for whatever reason I did it.

201
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:20,480
Bloody hell, damn it!

202
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,680
It's been ten years.

203
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,360
For over three years I slept on the road.

204
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,960
And I've been doing this work for 
the last four or five years.

205
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:40,080
I slept on the streets in Naya Bazaar, 
being hungry most of the time.

206
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,240
I did this for four or five years and 
then started this line of work.

207
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:07,360
It hurts, my legs hurt.

208
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,920
It's like my stomach is being 
scratched from the inside,

209
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,680
and my intestines are being 
turned inside-out.

210
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,440
That's how I feel when 
I'm in withdrawal.

211
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:57,520
I have to use drugs, I can't stand being sick. 
Without them, my legs start swelling.

212
00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:36,400
I shoot into my arteries because my 
veins have already become like wires.

213
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:43,120
That's why I shoot into my arteries.

214
00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:00,000
It's very hard for female 
drug users to survive.

215
16:42:42,720 --> 16:42:46,640
They have to sleep with dealers 
in exchange of drugs.

216
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,160
They have to ''fall in love'' with lots of 
guys to get drugs.

217
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,520
They end up living anywhere
to get drugs.

218
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,320
They even end up under police custody 
because of drugs.

219
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:33,560
Police… There is always 
the fear of the police.

220
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,000
Many times I have been in custody for...

221
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,120
Longest time was six months

222
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,880
Many many times, because of these drugs,

223
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,440
by dealing and sometimes by going to hunting

224
15:33:52,880 --> 15:33:54,280
Many times I have been...

225
15:33:58,080 --> 15:34:02,120
Hunting means to go to take drugs..

226
15:34:08,000 --> 15:34:11,200
To go to hunt the drug, I used to say hunting.

227
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:05,040
ANNIE GOES BACK TO CHECK
ON NISHA AND THE BABy

228
16:48:15,120 --> 16:48:20,640
Babu, how are you? Are you okay?

229
16:48:37,280 --> 16:48:39,720
Sister Annie, do you want some weed?

230
16:51:59,400 --> 16:52:01,760
Sister, what seems to be stuck in his chest?

231
16:52:04,200 --> 16:52:05,560
Have you ever heard about pneumonia?

232
16:52:07,640 --> 16:52:08,720
The spots you get in your chest?

233
16:52:10,120 --> 16:52:13,920
These spots mean that he's 
about to get a chest infection.

234
16:52:19,720 --> 16:52:21,360
It's very cold in this room.

235
16:52:23,240 --> 16:52:24,360
It's not the room.

236
16:52:25,560 --> 16:52:27,800
Do you remember the last time I came here?

237
16:52:30,600 --> 16:52:33,440
His cap was cold with sweat.

238
16:52:36,920 --> 16:52:38,560
And it felt very cold in here.

239
16:52:40,520 --> 16:52:43,320
But you couldn't feel it and 
that's how he got the cold.

240
16:52:46,600 --> 16:52:47,120
Inside?

241
16:52:47,960 --> 16:52:49,200
Yes, in the chest.

242
16:52:09,200 --> 16:52:11,360
They're taking all kinds of drugs.

243
16:55:58,880 --> 16:56:03,720
Inject, ''brown'', tablets, pills, 
smoke, marihuana.

244
16:56:09,160 --> 16:56:12,840
Everything, they use, husband and wife.

245
16:59:02,880 --> 16:59:04,720
What's his name?

246
17:01:41,520 --> 17:01:42,240
Daniel.

247
17:01:43,120 --> 17:01:44,040
Daniel?

248
17:01:46,240 --> 17:01:47,520
The name...

249
17:01:50,240 --> 17:01:52,200
The name is very smart.

250
17:01:54,960 --> 17:01:56,800
Daniel's name is smart.

251
17:01:59,600 --> 17:02:02,760
Name smart, name smart.

252
17:03:27,120 --> 17:03:32,800
I didn't want to come today because 
when I see the baby I want to cry.

253
17:10:13,360 --> 17:10:18,600
This is not a joke. We’re not here because 
of you guys, we’re here for the baby.

254
17:10:27,360 --> 17:10:32,320
I thought you would get better 
but you’re worse than before.

255
17:08:03,840 --> 17:08:08,200
You’re always taking drugs and 
injecting here. Come on, you have a kid!

256
17:08:37,520 --> 17:08:39,360
Don't you know how much the 
smoke affects the baby?

257
17:11:10,240 --> 17:11:14,960
I don't like coming here. I don't like to 
smell the weed. I was an addict myself.

258
17:09:00,640 --> 17:09:03,160
My brain tells me to smoke it.

259
17:10:09,600 --> 17:10:13,800
It won't take long to put me into action if 
I continue coming to places like this.

260
17:09:41,440 --> 17:09:43,840
Because of you guys the baby 
comes to my mind at night.

261
17:09:46,560 --> 17:09:51,040
The baby keeps nagging me. How am I 
going to take care of him?

262
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:25,360
Sharmila Baidhya is the first female ex-user in 
Nepal who went through a rehab program

263
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:34,600
Now she runs one of the few drop-in 
centers for female drug users

264
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:16,560
Some female drug users don't 
have enough money to get drugs.

265
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:46,840
In many cases, they don’t sell sex 
directly, they do it indirectly.

266
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:58,760
They sleep with someone for a night 
to get drugs, we have this kind of cases.

267
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:38,080
There are situations in which they 
don’t use condoms,

268
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:29,080
if the dealer refuses to use condoms.

269
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:38,160
As a consequence, they are at 
high risk of contracting HIV.

270
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:43,640
It's obvious, people look at me 
as a whore and a drug addict.

271
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,280
For sure.

272
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:58,480
They won't say it in my face, but that's 
what they say behind my back.

273
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:57,720
This is how I manage to get drugs.

274
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:11,440
They ask girls directly when 
they see us on the road.

275
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:29,040
I would answer, ''I will go, but 
how much will you give me?''

276
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:39,520
They offer between 30 and 40 dollar,
sometimes less.

277
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:46,560
Then I will go with them but I will not spend 
a long time. I sleep with them once.

278
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:08,680
Then I take the money and leave.
I ask for the money in advance.

279
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:20,480
Sometimes, when I come across a naive guy,
I ask him to go to the toilet.

280
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,960
Then I lock the door from 
the outside and run away.

281
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,560
Sleeping with somebody 
that you don't want is

282
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:33,840
very different to sleeping 
with your husband.

283
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:45,240
Sometimes customers ask me,
''Aren't you aroused?"

284
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:58,640
Then I tell them, ''no, because you
are not my husband or my boyfriend.

285
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,680
I am just doing it for the money.''

286
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,400
Sometimes I meet really nice guys.

287
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,560
They just want to talk and share 
their stories while drinking beer.

288
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,680
They even tell me, ''if you don't 
want to have sex that's okay.

289
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,200
You can sleep in one bed 
and I’ll sleep in the other.”

290
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:50,320
My husband has no idea 
that I’m doing this.

291
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,680
I tell him that I’m going out 
to party with friends.

292
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,840
When I do this I 
sometimes wonder

293
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:05,240
how come I fell this low for money.

294
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:12,480
I feel so guilty. After all, I'm a girl. 
And I am doing this just for drugs.

295
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:32,600
At night it's very tough for women, 
We can get physically assaulted.

296
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,200
We can’t defend ourselves.

297
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:18,000
They can kill us. We go for the 
money but there is a risk.

298
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:55,200
Police have also tried to grab my chest 
and tried to cheat me and get my money.

299
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,720
I have been in police custody.

300
00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:01,320
I’ve got harassed by guys on the road 
and I’ve got robbed.

301
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,800
This has happened so many times.

302
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:24,160
I started this job because of drugs 
and to support my mum.

303
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:37,800
They grabbed my neck, choked me 
and raped me.

304
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,280
Sometimes they beat me up.
I suffered a lot.

305
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,120
They hit me sometimes.

306
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,320
They tell you, ''let's go,'' and they take you.

307
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:53,000
And then 10 or 12 people are 
waiting on the road.

308
00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:55,640
There are situations like that.
It happens a lot.

309
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:05,280
If I get paid well, I go with 
two guys in one night.

310
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,320
But if the pay is low, I go with 
three or four guys in one night.

311
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,040
They sometimes ask for more 
than was agreed on.

312
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,200
When I tell them that it’s not possible 
they start doing it anyway.

313
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,680
They say, “What's the point of paying you?”

314
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,360
They say, ''Give me the money back.''

315
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,960
But we have already given our body. 
How can we return the money?

316
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,480
So we tell them that we 
can't give the money back.

317
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,240
They grab us, they choke us and 
try to get their money back.

318
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:53,560
I feel ashamed of myself. 
I have lost my dignity.

319
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,600
I feel my life is over.

320
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:00,680
Brother, I have tried to kill myself 
so many times.

321
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:02,800
I have taken poison but I’ve survived.

322
00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:05,560
Then I tried to hang myself.

323
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:12,960
But now, when I think about killing myself,
I close my eyes and see my son.

324
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:18,720
I want to do something for him. 
Only then I could die. Let's see...

325
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:14,920
No, no, I don't give up. Sorry. I want to 
change my life. How can I give up?

326
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:26,200
I've never tried to kill myself. I still wish 
and hope I can do something with my life.

327
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:34,920
I will live until I'm 80. See my grandchildren. 
Come on, I am not giving up.

328
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:12,440
REHAB

329
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:18,120
DEBIKA HAS DECIDED TO QUIT DRUGS

330
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,400
We are going now.

331
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:23,360
There's a car waiting for us.

332
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,360
I need this for the winter, right?

333
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:08,040
What is this? Okay, carry this.

334
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:26,240
It will be cold. Carry a sweater.

335
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:28,360
Take this.

336
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:32,240
And here this too.

337
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,560
I do this for me. How long can I 
go on using drugs?

338
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,120
Half of my life is over and I don't 
have many years left.

339
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,400
I’ve done this for too long.

340
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:38,800
Obviously, I felt bad. When I told 
my son to take care

341
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:49,240
he stopped watching cartoons, 
stood up and asked me:

342
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,560
“Where are you going?”

343
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:51,880
Mary.

344
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,240
Take the keys.

345
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:35,640
Do I have to come up?

346
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:52,880
Name?

347
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:12,920
My name?

348
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:15,680
Debika Tamang.

349
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,800
And I told him: “Take care of yourself.

350
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:34,760
Your mum will be back soon.

351
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,360
And don't give trouble 
to your grandmother.”

352
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,960
I felt like crying.

353
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,400
Okay Devika. Congratulations to you. 
Be good.

354
00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:28,200
I hope you will be better 
next time we meet.

355
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,600
You should take the treatment first. 
So many people can do this.

356
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,400
You can and you should do it.

357
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:56,480
In my experience it was very 
hard for me to get clean.

358
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,520
Very hard.

359
11:48:05,360 --> 11:48:09,640
The reason why I managed to stay clean was 
because I was finished with everything.

360
11:48:14,480 --> 11:48:22,400
I was finished physically, mentally, financially, and 
finished with friends and family.

361
11:48:30,720 --> 11:48:35,880
Even I could not die when I tried to kill myself.

362
11:48:41,280 --> 11:48:47,080
At the end I had to quit and go to rehab. 
That's the reason why I’m still clean.

363
00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:23,960
Different kinds of women come here;
some come in their worst condition,

364
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,880
some arrive here by their own will,

365
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,120
some are still using drugs 
when they come.

366
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:01,440
Some are very sick when they arrive.

367
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:33,680
Different types of women come here.

368
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:43,680
When they get arrested they have two choices: 
Go to jail or to undergo rehab.

369
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,520
Obviously, they choose rehab.

370
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,000
Only a few come voluntarily.

371
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:20,400
In some cases the family brought them here
but later on the family doesn't give a damn.

372
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,240
They regard this rehab as a dust bin.

373
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:11,360
They leave them at the rehab and 
don't care anymore.

374
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:02,600
It’s hard for them when they are new.

375
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:38,960
There is a saying: “If you make 
it easy, it will be easy.”

376
00:45:44,720 --> 00:45:51,520
The first stage was very hard because I 
was tricked by my family to come here.

377
00:43:54,840 --> 00:44:00,680
But when the program began to touch me
and the words started to connect

378
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:07,400
and I felt them. I realized that 
I should do it.

379
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:24,080
I must do it. I started to have 
this feeling inside.

380
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:34,040
Even those who arrived on their own have
sometimes doubts and try to run away.

381
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:38,400
We have to keep an eye on that.

382
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:45,040
Sometimes we have to lock the doors because 
some may get depressed during their stay.

383
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,880
It can be a problem if they die
by hanging themselves.

384
00:44:56,400 --> 00:45:01,280
We have to lock the doors upstairs because 
they may try to jump off the roof.

385
00:45:28,240 --> 00:45:32,840
There are those issues. They may go into
the kitchen and cut themselves with a knife.

386
00:45:38,240 --> 00:45:44,200
When they go to the toilet they may find 
small things and try to commit suicide.

387
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:20,200
Right now I'm having back pains.

388
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:30,080
I have the chills and goosebumps 
all over my body.

389
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:53,080
Yes, I know, I'm sick. It will be hard.

390
00:50:08,240 --> 00:50:13,520
I won't be able to sleep or eat.

391
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,280
It will be hard.

392
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:49,280
I've tried to quit four or five times already.

393
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:23,680
I’ll do it. I’ll think about 
myself and my son.

394
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,600
I really feel that I have to do it.

395
00:46:53,080 --> 00:47:00,480
Mary completed her time at the rehab
and is preparing to face society again

396
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:56,680
The fear of falling into drugs again 
is there. I know my weaknesses.

397
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:10,280
I'm not 100% sure I won't fall back in to 
drugs again. Those situations can arise.

398
16:37:15,880 --> 16:37:18,320
Life will always be challenging, you know?

399
16:37:42,200 --> 16:37:43,720
Once again, Namaste family.

400
16:37:51,400 --> 16:37:59,840
Today, sister Mary, who has been staying 
with us, is about to get discharged.

401
16:40:43,240 --> 16:40:48,880
She has been staying with 
you for a long time.

402
16:40:55,640 --> 16:40:59,840
So for her recovery you may want to 
give her words of hope and courage.

403
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:19,280
Society will talk about me. They 
will talk behind my back:

404
00:56:24,240 --> 00:56:27,440
“She was this or that kind of girl before.”

405
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:36,120
I will have to face this, that's the reality.

406
16:40:34,160 --> 16:40:36,560
But I’m ready to face it.

407
16:39:25,520 --> 16:39:28,360
The kind of person I was before 
was very selfish.

408
16:41:36,840 --> 16:41:41,480
I always thought, ''this is my life and I 
will run it the way I want to''.

409
16:41:47,320 --> 16:41:50,520
But there are people connected to me:

410
16:42:24,840 --> 16:42:29,760
My mum, my dad, my brothers and sisters, 
my husband and society as well.

411
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:27,560
I feel I have to lead a life on life's terms.

412
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:34,160
I have to understand the meaning of life.

413
16:55:03,960 --> 16:55:04,960
Best wishes my child.

414
16:55:07,160 --> 16:55:08,280
Yes.

415
16:57:07,040 --> 16:57:09,280
Don't worry, she will be back to visit.

416
16:57:20,280 --> 16:57:22,520
Don't forget us.

417
16:59:59,800 --> 17:00:02,440
What to say. If they come they will cry.

418
17:00:05,640 --> 17:00:08,280
But after stay here for long. 
They will go, they will cry.

419
17:02:28,440 --> 17:02:29,400
Ok, bye bye.

420
17:02:31,720 --> 17:02:32,680
Thank you.

421
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:45,640
ANNIE DISCUSSES OPTIONS WITH NISHA

422
15:45:47,440 --> 15:45:49,920
Think about what you need to do now.

423
15:45:52,560 --> 15:45:55,760
If you want to give up the baby
you two need to talk.

424
15:46:00,000 --> 15:46:02,840
If you don't want to give him up, you two 
need to decide what to do.

425
15:44:48,800 --> 15:44:51,840
I know because I came 
from the same place.

426
15:44:56,480 --> 15:44:58,880
I know what happens if you do this or that.

427
15:44:26,800 --> 15:44:29,320
I’m frustrated that I can't live without drugs.

428
15:44:32,880 --> 15:44:34,720
But it finally started...

429
15:44:36,720 --> 15:44:37,520
The journey.

430
15:44:38,480 --> 15:44:39,440
Journey...

431
15:44:18,120 --> 15:44:19,680
I told you before.

432
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:34,440
A WOMEN'S RIGHTS ISSUE

433
11:48:58,800 --> 11:49:03,960
In Nepali society there are boundaries on what
a woman should and should not do.

434
11:49:09,440 --> 11:49:13,000
The common belief is that women belong home.

435
01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:33,200
We women are dominated and oppressed.

436
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:07,200
People and society are 
scared and surprised

437
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,720
about the existence of female drug users.

438
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:42,720
There are between 108 and 120 
rehab centers in Nepal

439
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,240
but only 3 of them are for women.

440
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:59,160
That is too few.

441
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:33,520
What can I say? There is no 
budget for women.

442
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,240
There is a budget for men.

443
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:44,560
Female drug users can't open up and 
they suffer silently from diseases,

444
00:51:44,720 --> 00:51:50,400
they die alone without anybody noticing.

445
11:55:27,800 --> 11:55:29,920
That's what I have seen in my experience.

446
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,840
MINISTRY OF HOME AFFAIRS

447
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:11,160
There’s a saying that Nepal is 
a country run by men.

448
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:53,960
Maybe it's for this reason that we
don't get projects directly.

449
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,240
FANINDRA MANI POKHREL

UNDER SECRETARY
DRUG CONTROL SECTION
MINISTRY OF HOME AFFAIRS

450
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:32,960
Women are mostly users because...

451
00:52:33,240 --> 00:52:38,440
Women are the kind of people 
that are influenced quickly.

452
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:42,760
That's why they are manipulating 
women and are using them.

453
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:49,560
Special rehabs for female drug 
users need to be opened.

454
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:46,680
There are projects supposed to be 
coming for female drug users.

455
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:54,640
A big project. But where is it?

456
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:00,120
Until now it hasn't come.

457
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:05,680
We are planning to open a new 
government rehab center.

458
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:08,440
It's a government process so 
it may be delayed.

459
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:24,080
According to the Central Statistics Bureau,

460
00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:29,760
there are around 6,000 female 
drug users in Nepal.

461
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:33,160
The data is totally wrong.

462
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:39,280
I know it's wrong because I used to work 
before drug field collecting data.

463
01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:05,320
Lots of girls using drugs are hidden.

464
14:09:23,720 --> 14:09:32,360
Now a new generation of female drug users 
are getting into drugs at the ages of 14 or 15.

465
14:14:23,840 --> 14:14:31,560
In simple terms, this issue will become 
very dangerous in the future.

466
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:32,960
Nisha and Deepak decided to keep
their son and finally go into rehab

467
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:47,560
But Annie can't get them 
admitted anywhere

468
18:00:19,720 --> 18:00:25,080
I tried my best to help. I asked for 
help at many organizations.

469
17:59:52,320 --> 17:59:55,240
But they're ignoring me and 
coming up with excuses.

470
17:59:58,720 --> 18:00:01,560
They tell me that they don't have 
funding and don't have space.

471
17:56:37,440 --> 17:56:40,440
The situation is difficult.

472
18:18:51,080 --> 18:18:53,760
Most of the organizations are 
trying to make money.

473
18:10:32,800 --> 18:10:35,640
First of all they don't work to help.

474
18:05:42,200 --> 18:05:44,680
Just don't be high all the time. 
Open your eyes.

475
18:05:48,000 --> 18:05:49,840
Open widely your eyes and see 
what is going on.

476
18:05:52,080 --> 18:05:54,120
What is going on around your world.

477
18:06:04,240 --> 18:06:05,240
You’re still asleep.

478
18:06:10,240 --> 18:06:11,840
Wake up.

479
18:08:56,480 --> 18:09:00,160
[I'm tired. Me 2.]

480
18:26:00,000 --> 18:26:02,080
What to do? What to do?

481
18:26:05,520 --> 18:26:07,760
What to do? What to do?

482
18:26:10,240 --> 18:26:11,880
Nothing to do.

483
18:26:13,920 --> 18:26:17,040
This is a Kathmandu

484
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:23,880
FIVE MONTHS HAVE PASSED
SINCE DEBIKA WENT INTO REHAB

485
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:28,280
APRIL

486
00:56:34,240 --> 00:56:36,600
I never thought I was good for anything.

487
00:56:55,920 --> 00:57:00,560
I feel that I’ve changed in many aspects.

488
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:06,320
I’ve learned a lot here.

489
00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:12,400
Sometimes I can't believe this is me.

490
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:29,320
Before, I never took 
responsibility for anything.

491
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:34,040
But now I assume my responsibilities.

492
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:35,920
So I’m happy.

493
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:50,840
People used to say, 
“Debika, she’s always high.”

494
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:54,640
That hurt me and made me angry.

495
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:59,960
It made me use drugs even more.

496
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:09,360
Here, people tell me: “Devika you’ve 
changed and you’re doing well.”

497
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:13,560
That makes me feel good 
about myself.

498
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:18,400
I feel in my heart that I 
need to do something now.

499
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:28,640
Here I have learnt
to read and write,

500
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,360
and I can teach others.

501
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:47,200
There are lots of happy moments, 
funny moments.

502
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:51,000
We have an entertainment session 
once a week.

503
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:55,480
Everybody sings and dances.

504
00:58:55,600 --> 00:59:00,720
It's a lot of fun, especially when 
you feel sad and down.

505
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:05,240
During that time you 
mingle with everybody

506
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:06,960
and that feels very nice.

507
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:15,360
Here we grow vegetables.

508
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:17,800
We have a saying:

509
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:23,040
''The cauliflower and the 
cabbage will grow and

510
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,880
when we eat them we 
can go home.''

511
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:30,200
Some used to say, ''When we eat 
the peas, we can go home.''

512
00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:36,320
Debika, are you okay?

513
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,280
How long have you been here now?

514
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:40,040
Five months.

515
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:42,280
So, five months...

516
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:44,880
I am sure you know when 
you will be discharged.

517
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:45,600
I know.

518
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:46,680
How many months from now?

519
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:47,680
In six months.

520
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,000
So this is going to be your first outing.

521
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:58,320
For me, the moment I decided that I needed 
to get clean was when...

522
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:01,400
when my son...

523
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,640
Even now it still hurts so much.

524
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:07,360
You know the syringes that we use to inject...

525
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:09,640
My son was carrying a syringe...

526
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:11,640
He pulled it down like this...

527
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:15,440
And he poked himself with the syringe.

528
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:22,360
He said, ''Mum is doing like this...''

529
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:25,440
I still remember it.

530
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:30,320
I had become a drug addict.

531
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:33,320
I could not even take care of 
the son I had given birth to.

532
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:36,160
I was such a careless mother.

533
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:01,640
What now?

534
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:06,160
Let's go home, but you need 
to be back here tomorrow.

535
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:07,720
Did you have lunch?

536
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:08,600
No.

537
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,160
Our son Babu has holidays, so I 
came here to take you home.

538
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:16,280
You wanted to see him. His 
school starts after Sunday.

539
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:20,120
Babu has school holidays 
so you can meet him.

540
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:27,880
So, how is it here? I have heard 
the rules are very tight.

541
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:29,280
Who said that?

542
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:30,440
Ma'am said so.

543
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:44,720
I feel very happy because it has been a long
time since I saw my family for the last time.

544
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,880
It has been five months since 
I saw my son's face.

545
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:54,880
It's going to be hard. I’m going to 
meet people that are still using drugs.

546
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,720
People are using them in the streets.

547
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:04,320
It will be hard to face and deal with people 
in the streets who are still using drugs.

548
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:13,360
ANNIE CONTINUES HER 
LIFE AS A SOCIAL WORKER

549
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:26,240
The reason why I had cut my hair was

550
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:30,360
that I was undergoing treatment.

551
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:33,800
I had a liver problem, hepatitis C.

552
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:40,120
As a side effect of the treatment my hair fell off.

553
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:43,160
So I decided to cut it all off.

554
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:52,840
Nowadays I don't have much time for myself.

555
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:04,120
I’m working with a lot of people 
who are still drug users.

556
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:07,880
My job is to provide them 
with oral medication.

557
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:24,560
At night, when it gets difficult for 
detoxing clients I look after them.

558
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:27,400
I have to stay there and 
look after the girls.

559
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:35,200
I help them. And at night I’m 
looking after detoxing clients.

560
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:47,400
AFTER FIVE MONTHS, DEBIKA MEETS HER SON AGAIN

561
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:09,400
I can't explain what I felt. I had no 
idea what to say or what to do.

562
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:14,760
I was feeling very uncomfortable.

563
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:22,280
I wanted to hug him, keep him by my side,
I wanted so much to speak with him.

564
01:04:22,560 --> 01:04:28,440
I felt very uncomfortable. But
I was happy when I met my son.

565
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:34,240
I went upstairs and told him, “let's go
and get some snacks and pizza”.

566
01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:38,120
When I was changing his clothes 
he was very happy.

567
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:48,720
I saw him changed. My son has grown 
taller and he is thinner, too.

568
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:55,040
I think he's gotten used to this. I have been 
in rehab and under police custody many times.

569
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:59,560
He asked me where I had gone. 
I answered that I was at a hospital.

570
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:05,080
There is certain food that I miss.

571
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:07,200
What is it?

572
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:08,160
Pizza.

573
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:28,960
The fear is always there.

574
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:31,880
The fear is there.

575
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:36,440
It's because I haven't faced the 
outside world even once.

576
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:41,480
Because I’m crazy for Pani 
and I can't control myself.

577
01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:43,600
I just don't want to look at it.

578
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:51,480
When I left home I felt that I 
hadn't had enough time.

579
01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:08,880
It's still the same neighbourhood. 
I'd be scared to live there again.

580
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:15,200
I want to continue living at the 
center. I was happy to return.

581
01:06:15,800 --> 01:06:23,200
I didn't feel sad. I woke up in the 
morning and had some tea.

582
01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:52,080
MARy RETURNS TO THE REHAB CENTER

583
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:57,920
Yumi, do you recognise me?

584
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:01,640
Press your fingers here.

585
01:07:07,960 --> 01:07:10,160
Why are you licking me?

586
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:12,320
No, here.

587
01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:13,440
Here?

588
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:17,120
Between these two, from here to here.

589
01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:21,680
Did you know you were coming here?

590
01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:24,760
I didn't know anything.

591
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:26,200
Really?

592
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:26,880
Aha...

593
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,040
Do you recognise him?

594
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:33,440
You recognise him?

595
01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:34,320
Yes, I remember.

596
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:35,920
Who is he?

597
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:39,200
He is the person who was making
 the documentary before.

598
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:39,920
Am I right?

599
01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:40,680
Raul.

600
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:42,760
Say Hi.

601
01:07:42,760 --> 01:07:43,680
Hello.

602
01:07:45,760 --> 01:07:46,920
He was asking about you.

603
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:51,560
Which room are you sleeping in? 
Dormitory 1 or 2?

604
01:07:53,200 --> 01:07:59,320
I had to come back to the 
center after five months.

605
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:11,480
My family was supportive,
but I was always feeling lonely.

606
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:16,240
Everybody was busy. No one was 
at home and I was lonely.

607
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:21,920
Because of that I started having 
negative thoughts.

608
01:08:23,480 --> 01:08:29,280
On top of that I am also infected with 
HIV and hepatitis. That's why...

609
01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:35,680
Because of my health problems I felt...

610
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:38,000
You know...

611
01:08:39,840 --> 01:08:47,920
NISHA AND DEEPAK SWITCHED TO 
METHADONE, A SUBSTITUTION DRUG

612
01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:13,280
Now I’m taking care of the baby.

613
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:16,080
I used to take a lot of stuff.

614
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:21,840
But I stopped because my baby is 
getting older and I understand now.

615
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:26,880
When a baby gets older you need to 
cater for his needs.

616
01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:29,760
We can't always be like this.

617
01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:33,000
Now I’m getting better for my baby, 
let's see how far I can reach.

618
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,640
I’m much better than before.

619
01:09:52,120 --> 01:10:01,240
But now, taking methadone, I don't have to 
go anywhere and I can take care of my child.

620
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:04,560
I’m not using anything else and I'm 
slowly reducing my methadone dose.

621
01:10:17,480 --> 01:10:20,000
This is my code number.

622
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:22,200
This is my arrival time.

623
01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:24,720
And this is my out going time.

624
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:44,360
Slowly I will quit and next time we meet

625
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:48,880
I’ll be better than before, 
much better than now.

626
01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:05,760
yANGZEE, NOW IN A RELATIONSHIP, DECIDED TO STOP BEING A 
SEX WORKER AND TO QUIT METHADONE

627
01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:12,760
QUITTING METHADONE CAN BE DANGEROUS 
IF NOT DONE IN A GRADUAL WAy

628
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:25,400
I’m trying to quit, but it’s very hard,
what else can I say?

629
01:11:31,320 --> 01:11:36,600
My life is better than before. 
I don't have to work or struggle.

630
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:40,720
My boyfriend takes care of me.
What else do I need?

631
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,520
Where are you staying now?

632
01:11:51,800 --> 01:11:56,640
Me? At the house of the former king of Nepal.

633
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:18,800
I came on my own to this place,
I’m going crazy.

634
01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:24,560
I’m being honest.

635
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:27,720
Unbelievable things are happening.

636
01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:52,560
I’m human, and a god as well. I've been asked
to make a choice. I don't know what the choice is.

637
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:56,960
yANGZEE'S MENTAL STATE REQUIRES HER TO BE ADMITTED AT THE 
GRACE FOUNDATION REHAB CENTER FOR WOMEN

638
01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:14,040
What happened? You look stunned?

639
01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:17,800
Are you scared?

640
01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:19,040
Are you scared?

641
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:19,920
Yes.

642
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:23,520
Don't be afraid. Nothing 
will happen to you.

643
01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:25,720
Don't worry, we are all like you.

644
01:13:27,520 --> 01:13:30,560
As you stay you will begin 
to understand the rules.

645
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:33,400
Chandika, can you do a 
quick body search?

646
01:13:36,480 --> 01:13:41,600
When she arrived, it seemed that 
she had lost her mind a little bit.

647
01:13:42,240 --> 01:13:45,400
Confused, dazzled and in a state of fear.

648
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:49,960
She has been taking methadone 
for the last six months.

649
01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:54,560
The cause of her condition is not only 
from the use of methadone.

650
01:13:55,120 --> 01:14:00,800
Aside from methadone, she used
 a lot of other chemicals as well.

651
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:09,840
She doesn’t know what she says,
what she does, and where she is.

652
01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:21,960
How do you feel?

653
01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:24,280
I’m feeling wonderful.

654
01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:29,840
I don't think you are feeling wonderful.
Come on, tell me.

655
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:32,680
Where you a drug user outside?

656
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:33,400
Uh-huh.

657
01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:34,880
I stopped.

658
01:14:35,080 --> 01:14:36,040
When did you stop using drugs?

659
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:38,200
A long time ago. Maybe a year.

660
01:14:38,440 --> 01:14:42,720
It's been six months since I quit methadone.

661
01:14:42,840 --> 01:14:44,560
Come on, don't lie.

662
01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:47,240
I’m not a drug user.

663
01:14:58,120 --> 01:15:06,280
I don't know why, but I felt depressed, frustrated, 
lonely and slowly, slowly…

664
01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:11,880
I started using drugs once, twice;
even though I knew I shouldn't do it.

665
01:15:13,360 --> 01:15:18,720
I was using drugs from time to time
and then I started to use them regularly.

666
01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:29,200
I try to control myself many times 
but I don't know what happens.

667
01:15:32,680 --> 01:15:34,600
Again, and again, and again and again...

668
01:15:35,840 --> 01:15:39,360
I used I stop, I used I stop, I used I stop...

669
01:15:40,040 --> 01:15:41,640
And now here again.

670
01:15:46,760 --> 01:15:50,280
Sometimes, being a believer I feel like...

671
01:15:51,360 --> 01:15:55,920
I've done some much sin. 
I don't deserve it. I don't...

672
01:15:57,240 --> 01:16:00,240
In Christianity there is hell and heaven.

673
01:16:01,440 --> 01:16:05,440
I'm a big sinner. I don't deserve heaven.

674
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:09,680
I feel like that sometimes.

675
01:16:23,600 --> 01:16:30,040
DEATH

676
01:16:57,080 --> 01:17:00,160
Do you know how many of 
your friends have died?

677
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:03,480
Can you count them with your fingers?

678
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:15,840
I know of seven, but I forgot 
the names of two.

679
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:27,200
The old time drug users 
I knew have all died.

680
01:17:29,560 --> 01:17:37,120
Many are dead. Almost all of my friends have died.
I don't have any friends left. I met Annie later.

681
01:17:41,160 --> 01:17:48,080
When I was still using drugs I had five 
close friends who were users

682
01:17:48,480 --> 01:17:52,400
but all of them died, 
within a few days.

683
01:17:55,760 --> 01:18:04,840
Since I’m working as a social worker I 
have seen more female drug users die than men.

684
16:20:23,800 --> 16:20:28,000
People just sleep like this...
Two of my friends die ''by this''.

685
01:18:18,440 --> 01:18:22,080
Some people are mad now.
They don't know anything.

686
01:18:23,080 --> 01:18:26,040
Are you not afraid that happen 
what happen to your friends?

687
16:21:04,840 --> 16:21:08,080
I am afraid but what to do? 
It is like a disease.

688
16:21:13,480 --> 16:21:17,080
We have to take medicine. 
Addiction is like one kind of disease.

689
01:18:37,720 --> 01:18:42,320
Had they received treatment on time 
they would still be alive today.

690
01:18:46,720 --> 01:18:51,720
IN THE FINAL STAGES OF HER TREATMENT
DEBIKA DECIDES TO STAy AS A VOLUNTEER

691
01:18:52,720 --> 01:18:57,720
SHE IS NOW ALLOWED TO HANDLE MONEY
AND TO BUy SUPPLIES FOR THE CENTER

692
01:18:59,840 --> 01:19:03,840
I want to work in the drug field eventually.

693
01:19:13,840 --> 01:19:15,800
Anything else to get?

694
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:18,760
Yes, tomatoes and some stuff 
from the rations store.

695
01:19:34,920 --> 01:19:37,720
I will do it. Whatever I've learned 
I will use.

696
01:19:37,840 --> 01:19:41,040
There will be others coming here.
I will teach them.

697
01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:43,400
That's what I feel in my heart.

698
01:19:45,920 --> 01:19:51,280
I can feel her withdrawal, too, because 
I have been through the same.

699
01:19:51,720 --> 01:19:56,720
The pain, the suffering, the hardships...

700
01:19:56,920 --> 01:20:05,280
It doesn’t get easier by sharing it. 
I know how hard it is. I know.

701
01:20:10,120 --> 01:20:13,720
I think it’s working out. She understands
what I’m going through,

702
01:20:14,080 --> 01:20:17,360
Were you still in withdrawal 
when I left?

703
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:20,960
She was very thin.

704
01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:25,240
Now she is this big. 
And now I am in her place.

705
01:20:26,720 --> 01:20:29,640
How does it feel taking 
care of each other?

706
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:33,920
I think it's working out. She understands
what I'm going through.

707
01:20:35,040 --> 01:20:40,920
and I understand what she went through.
The pain is the same.

708
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,080
I understand.

709
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:28,240
The numbers of female drug users will keep 
growing. The increase will continue.

710
16:10:45,840 --> 16:10:50,480
People think that we are like...

711
16:10:58,320 --> 16:11:00,320
What to say... Like animals.

712
01:21:41,960 --> 01:21:44,400
I just completed 5 years.

713
01:21:44,520 --> 01:21:47,720
I still have to face those kinds of problems.

714
01:21:47,880 --> 01:21:50,400
Problems like when people 
still say about me:

715
01:21:50,640 --> 01:21:52,240
“That person’s daughter is a 
drug user.”

716
16:11:13,440 --> 16:11:15,800
They treat us very bad.

717
16:11:18,720 --> 16:11:22,840
They don't like us. They dont want 
to come near us.

718
01:43:38,160 --> 01:43:45,880
Someday, when they will have someone in
their family with the same drug problem...

719
01:43:54,560 --> 01:43:58,320
...that day maybe they will understand.

720
15:49:46,000 --> 15:49:47,800
I really miss my mum.

721
15:49:50,720 --> 15:49:53,920
And I always miss my brother 
also, father also.

722
15:49:57,360 --> 15:49:58,600
Just...

723
15:50:00,480 --> 15:50:04,840
...all the time I miss them. I dont know if
they miss me or not but I miss them.

724
15:50:15,760 --> 15:50:17,280
It's difficult...

725
15:50:19,040 --> 15:50:21,440
...to live alone without family.

726
01:37:03,240 --> 01:37:07,640
Whatever society thinks let them think it. 
Let them talk about me.

727
01:37:12,760 --> 01:37:15,560
I didn't give a damn.

728
01:37:19,240 --> 01:37:21,520
But after coming here I feel I’m not alone.

729
01:37:24,840 --> 01:37:27,480
People are connected to me.

730
01:37:31,000 --> 01:37:34,600
And I have to behave accordingly.

731
01:22:49,240 --> 01:22:54,520
People look at the children of drug addicts
in a very degrading way.

732
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:57,840
People say things like: “They are the children 
of drug addicts, stay away.”

733
01:22:58,640 --> 01:23:01,680
Those children, how they must feel?

734
01:23:05,120 --> 01:23:11,240
I have not told my son anything about my 
addiction until now.

735
01:23:11,640 --> 01:23:14,360
But when he grows older and
he is able to understand...

736
01:23:14,480 --> 01:23:17,880
...I’ll tell him about drugs and addiction.

737
01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:21,640
I will tell my daughter when she
grows older...

738
01:23:21,720 --> 01:23:26,800
...about the consequences of using drugs.

739
01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:29,800
I will tell her about my experiences.

740
01:23:30,560 --> 01:23:33,560
What I had to do and what I had 
to become when I was using drugs.

741
01:23:33,760 --> 01:23:37,800
I will share all those experiences 
wth my daughter.

742
01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:54,640
If someone asked you what 
is this documentary about?

743
01:23:54,840 --> 01:23:58,200
What would you answer?

744
01:24:07,240 --> 01:24:09,360
My simple answer would be...

745
01:24:09,680 --> 01:24:11,760
Even drug users like me

746
01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:14,600
that try to hide it and not to show it,

747
01:24:15,080 --> 01:24:19,440
later it could help other female drug users.

748
01:24:33,040 --> 01:24:36,600
Later could help other female drug users.

749
01:24:36,960 --> 01:24:41,360
Because my message could 
be useful for them.

750
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:44,120
That's why this documentary 
 has been made.

751
01:24:59,760 --> 01:25:07,560
yangzee was able to recover and completed her rehabilitation
 treatment. She currently lives in Germany with her boyfriend

752
01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:20,480
Nisha and Deepak eventually broke up. Deepak finished the Methadone treatment 
and went back to live with his family and takes care of the baby.

753
01:25:25,480 --> 01:25:30,680
Nisha’s wherabouts are unknown

754
01:25:37,280 --> 01:25:47,240
Mary completed successfully the treatment for 
Hepatitis C and then started a treatment for HIV

She is still undergoing her rehabilitation treatment

755
01:25:55,600 --> 01:26:04,640
Debika continues doing her volunteering at Grace Foundation. She wants to learn the 
necessary to work as a Social Worker and help other drug users

756
01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:19,560
Dolma stopped injecting and joined an oral substitution program. 
 She continues working in the streets of Kathmandu

757
01:26:24,080 --> 01:26:32,040
Puja, Bikens and Annie are still working in assisting, 
helping and supporting female drug users in Nepal

758
01:26:43,080 --> 01:27:24,560