...and the thing is one is vegetarian
and the other's vegan...
so I guess we do drinks... - Yeah, yeah.
Yes, we do drinks. - What kind?
Vodka? - Juice.
Juice, or flavoured juice? - No, no. Juice.
So... what do we...
do? Do we take something?
I have a nice bottle from my uncle.
No, Marie insists we shouldn't take anything...
apart from my bread...
I'm glad: my first bread in ages...
Look, it's her birthday. We'll drink it.
You hear that?
Rubbing: shloop, shloop.
Shloop, shloop. Can you hear it?
Shloop, shloop, shloop? Shloop, shloop...
Yeah... shloop, shloop. That's the noise!
Yeah...
Fancy shloop-shlooping?
What? - A game.
OK. - Oh yes, with maximum skin contact...
Right... - combined with aquatic thrills!
Tell me all about the rules.
So, the rules... - Well, there's a few...
How's that for contact? - I'm starting to feel it.
Anyone due? - No.
Wait, 2 seconds, I'm a bit stuck.
Wait... - It's just...
No, hang on... your elbow's in my...
I've nowhere to lean...
Ow, that hurts. - Does it?
Oh, come here... - Julie? Julie!
Woah! Holy crap!
I rang the bell but when you didn't answer... Hi.
It's Pierre, right? - Mum, get out please.
Mum, get out of the bathroom. Please!
I mean, how did she get in?
She's got a key, to water my plants...
And is that how she does it?
No, when I'm not in... - Right, I see.
When you're not in. But now you are in!
Yeah...
OK, drop it now.
OK. Well anyway, you really look like her!
Do you think? - Totally.
Like the discordance of coming in with a plate of prawns...
Actually, my mum isn't discordant...
We don't look alike.
She's blue-eyed. I'm brown.
OK, but that doesn't matter.
Well, you can tell her... it's a huge disappointment for her!
But that's not something you care about, eh?
You don't care, right? - Well,
both parents are blue-eyed. I'm brown.
So what?
Well, genetically that's impossible.
There are exceptions, but only 9%.
I looked it up. It's the law of alleles.
Oh really? You checked that out?
So you think she's not your mum? - That's right.
Darling, it's not good to read so many books at once.
Ah, Pierre,
now you're clothed we can shake hands!
Tell me, do you read 30 books at a time too?
No. It's not my thing. - You see!
You start a book, you finish it.
Only then do you start another. Or you get mixed up!
You might, not me.
Anyway, will you ever end your messiness?
That's how I read, Mum!
You didn't come over to tidy though? - No.
I came to water your plants.
That too, I told you: there's no need if I'm here!
But sweetie... your plants are dying of thirst. Look at this one.
Look at the leaves! How do you decide on watering it?
You should check the soil.
I did check the soil!
So, you get your finger like this,
you stick your finger in the soil to see if it's wet or dry.
Then you decide whether to water it.
Did you finger it?
Right... that's how you did it? - Yes.
There's enough for three. With Pierre.
Do you like prawns, Pierre? - Yes.
Great! All this time she's been hiding you...
I'm pleased to meet you!
Do you know how pretty she is in a dress?
You seen her in a dress?
It shows off her ankles. She's great ankles.
Show him your ankles, honey.
He knows my ankles, Mum!
I'm just saying that, as a woman,
you show off what's nice, hide your flaws.
Like my eyes?
Oh, not that again, honey.
Tell her she's nice eyes, Pierre!
I love her in dungarees, they suit her better.
Could you do this for me, please?
You'll do it well. - OK.
Thanks.
That bottle is for Marie's birthday.
Yeah.
OK.
So we're staying in?
So, how long has it been for you two now? Nine months?
That's no mean feat!
Nine months is a good start.
Have you managed that before?
Have you managed that? - Uh, yeah.
Oh, I remember.
Oh honey, I put loads of mayonnaise in the prawns...
We could have a meal with the four of us.
Four of us?
You, me, Pierre and your dad.
And Isabelle?
Isabelle!
Pierre shouldn't endure all Dad's conquests!
She's his fiancée, Mum.
It's just ridiculous to still want to get married at that age.
Well, the wine's good.
That's nice, because it's my uncle's production.
He produces wine at his cellar.
How interesting! - Yes.
A winemaking uncle... that's great!
I bet you'd like to meet Julie's dad, eh?
Julie, can you arrange that for us? A little meal?
Isabelle or not, he'll always be your dad.
And I'll always be your mum.
Hello Victor, it's me.
I'm having dinner with Julie and her new partner.
Julie would like to arrange something
for you to meet each other.
So it's probably best if I hand you over.
Here...
I'm either one of the 9% of exceptions, or I'm adopted.
Are you really asking yourself that?
Yes.
Oh come on my love, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
It's more likely your mum slept with another man,
so your dad's not your dad. - No, that can't be.
What do you want me to say then, if that can't be?
So ask her to do a DNA test.
You're completely nuts. I'd never dare ask her that!
But you'll wake me in the small hours...
that’s not cool... what is it now? - Look, I...
She'll take it really badly!
She'll take it badly?! Julie, listen:
your relationship with your mother is not exactly calm...
When did you start doubting?
I've always doubted. - No way? Jesus.
That's not possible. There must have been a trigger.
She's the trigger. She's it.
With her blue eyes story.
I checked up, and the stats say
there's a 91% chance she's not my mum.
So of course I'd question it.
Yes, OK, I get that. But don't wake me at 3 AM.
Your snoring kept me awake! - Calm down!
Ask her to do a DNA test.
Do you realise what you're asking me to do?
It's completely insane!
So what... what... how did you...?
What's your thinking?
That I adopted you? Is that it? Did I adopt you?
Why would I do that? - I don't know.
And why would you think it's me, that I'm not your mother?
Haven't you considered that your father could be the problem?
Wow.
Did you cheat on Dad? - Certainly not!
If you had an affair...
I never cheated on Dad. Alright?
What's with this story? - But you brought it up.
It would never have occurred to me. Never.
I promise you.
So, you planned me together and...
you got pregnant? - Exactly!
Why did you never speak about your pregnancy?
I've no idea why.
Maybe I've had nothing to say.
What?
What would you want me to say?
Nothing.
You could've told me... I don't know...
you could have told me, say, how it was...
magical?
It must be magical, having a baby growing in... no?
That's what they say, but...
I was fat, nauseous
and the doctor ordered me to stay in bed non-stop.
And how was childbirth? - Horrific.
Your were in breech position. They tried to turn you around.
There were complications... in the end I passed out.
Oh? - I was haemorrhaging.
They send me for surgery and... - Wait, so...
you didn't see me at the moment of birth?
Well? - Not at that moment, no.
How did you recognise me?
You see, it's possible!
They could have swapped two babies.
You didn't notice because you were unconscious.
Oh come on! This conversation is absurd, Julie.
I am your mother! For crying out loud!
I know it!
A mother just knows.
You just read a daft theory online. It doesn't mean...
and besides, aren't there exceptions to your rule?
Nine per cent, yes. - Well, there you go!
Right, so there you go. You're in the 9%.
Here, take this.
There. Come on.
Mum, don't you think that,
if it turned out from this DNA test that...
let's say that I wasn't your daughter, it might help
us understand some things better...
What things? What are you trying to say? - Not sure.
OK: you love me, but not totally.
But I do love you totally! Of course I do!
No. You say it, but don't really feel it.
You find it hard, Mum. - Not at all!
But... come on, Julie. You're my daughter.
I love you totally!
I can't feel it!
You can't feel it?! - No.
Honey, but we're close, aren't we?
Mum, you just told me that even pregnancy was...
I don't know if we've ever been close. - Of course we have.
Remember when your dad left...
we never... we both... - When Dad left?
You began meddling in my homework, my bedroom decor.
You chose my clothes, my friends...
That's not being close!
Oh, OK. Well, what about last night then?
Wasn't our impromptu meal nice? - No.
Oh! Why not? - Well...
What? - You pretended to want to meet Pierre,
but you just wanted a chance to see Dad. - Not true.
Mum, you invited yourself. Without asking what I thought.
You were in my bathroom. With prawns. And Pierre naked!
But that's not so bad... - Not so bad?
You humiliated me. Can't you see that?
In front of him, you nagged me about how I read, how I dress,
how I should eat...
No, I don't feel that you love me. I'm not how you want.
I don't reach your standards, Mum. My eyes aren't blue.
Oh, don't give me that. I love your eyes.
But it was you! It was you who always said
"she has two blue-eyed parents... it's such a shame."
To listen to you,
it sounds like I got it all wrong with you.
Is that how you feel?
Well, I...
I don't know.
So tell me: what should I do?
Should I make you a tiramisu?
A tiramisu? A fucking tiramisu?
I want my key back.
Honey... - I want my key back.
But darling...
I'm still your mum all the same... right?
Right?
You like the idea of having a mother who isn't me. Is that it?
You've always dreamt of another mum.
That's it, isn't it? Give me the test!
I'll do your test. Hand it over.
Hand it over! Julie!
There you go.
Now you can deal with that.
I'm sorry, Mum.
I'm conflating things.
What I want is
to be able to let you in when I want.
Do you see?
Can I have my key back?
That won't bring us closer.
Actually, it might help.
But...
I won't be able to water your plants.
Well, no.
Too bad for the plants?
Too bad for the plants.
Have you seen how beautiful it is?
Oh, look! - What?
You're developing hallux valgus.
Developing what? - Hallux valgus.
What's that? - A big bump on your big toe.
Look, I've got the same thing. Here.
It's hereditary, no helping it.
What, so I'll have a bump on my foot? - Yep.
You just need to wear shoes that are not too narrow.
I'm not going to spend my life in Birkenstocks.
It's ringing.
Answer the phone, it might be your father. Get that!
No, Mum, I don't want to answer now.
Mum, please, I'll call him back later. - We said we would do...
Mum, I didn't say I agreed to organize that dinner.
Oh, then... - It's not nice for Isabelle!