There goes the bus! There goes the bus!
Oh no, no, no!
She lost interest in a minute!
Come, let’s ride the bus!
She’s sleepy
Come my baby, let’s sleep
Let’s sleep my child
There she goes, there she goes
When I was little, my grandfather used to say, “The souls of trees can hear our voices”
He loved Alvina a lot
He really loved Alvina a lot -
- clean the outer frame too
When I used to come here as a kid, I’d notice that this puffed rice is always there
Grandfather used to eat it every single day
Just this much
He used to have 2 biscuits and this puffed rice with his tea
And when you two would visit us, we would also have it stocked up for him.
Yes, I used to bring it along for him
And more snacks...sweets....
“Alvina likes it, take some more for her!” your grandfather would say, so I would get 2 packets of everything
Yes...and as soon as you reach, he would take all the snacks out of the bag, arrange it on the table just to show me
Absolutely. He was so determined about that
Give me the peanuts, I like them
Although...I’ve just taken a medicine for acidity
Will the peanuts cause acidity?
and you’ve had peanuts yesterday too...
Found another
Enough!
Until they turned 3, my kids only had milk, biscuits...things like that
Your aunt and your father, both
Did grandfather cook for them? -What
Tea, food...things like that
What nonsense, as if he’d ever cook
He would not even serve himself water when thirsty...
He would do this when water in the jug ran out
Then? -Then I would have to fill it for him
And he would say “My wife may do everything else, but she doesn’t fill the water!”
I would have to keep checking on the water!
I didn’t think he’d pass away so quickly
Maybe it’s good for him...
At least he didn’t suffer too much.
The ones that remain behind never want the dead to depart
The camera is down there but records up here
No, it’s all up here -All there? -Yes
“Look, Sushila aunty is here, look look look!” This is what these kids are doing
Are you done? Follow me to the washroom
Today I put a garland on my husband and offered some fruits. We should eat them as offerings to God
What?
It’s his death anniversary today
Really!?
Yes...
Alvina bought the garland
I asked her to lead the prayer, she obliged
She agreed to do it? -Yes, she did it
That’s good -She did everything
The girl is fortunate
Alvina is fortunate
When he was dying, she was the only one who came, isn’t it?
Your grandfather...
When he passed away, only you were here.
Your mom, brother, no one came
Then your father came, and you
Your grandfathers blessings will remain with you
The day my granddfather died...
I held my dad tight and cried a lot, in this room
But I don’t remember what emotion I saw on his face
You’ll feel drowsy now
Did you ever feel like coloring your hair red?
Whose? -Yours
No...ever since my husband passed away. A month before his death...I should have dyed my hair black
I kept postponing it, thinking I had time. And now...I don’t feel like doing it anymore
Sometimes I feel doing it....but then....why, do I look bad?
No, not at all. Your black hair looked nice too
Let’s see
When I came back from Pune, the entire floor was filled with leaves from the tree
I have to buy a new pot for that lemon plant
There are so many thorns, I am afraid of touching it
All my plants used to be here, but we had to move them when we were water proofing the house
So now they’re arrangeed this way
Oh my gosh! Monkeys! I feel afraid!
Let’s leave! The men are not afraid of monkeys, but we women are!
Look how big they are!
Yes! If they slap us, we are done for
Our doors are shut right? -Yes
What are they constructing over there?
A two storeyed parking lot
And on top of that...what’s it called...
A residential building?
No, not residential
That used to be the hospital I was born in... -Yes, it was
A daughter is someone else’s wealth
Her accomplishment in life is to get married
This is what my father believed
He never considered that my sister should have a career
It didn’t occur to him at all
To ensure that her marriage is not delayed
He found her a match
The boy happened to be mentally challenged, and she suffered a lot
There was no concept of democracy in our house
Two people talking as equals...this never happened in front of my father
My sister never got a chance to voice her opinion
There’s nothing to be done now, unfortunately
Maybe my daughter will visit tomorrow, but she won’t stay
She might come to meet Alvina
She said she will come only if possible
At this point, all I can tell her is “Stay if you want, come if you want, or don’t”
It’s not her fault, it’s her husband....
He doesn’t like to eat food outside. He prefers home made food. What to do...
Oh, you haven’t finished
I’m done! I’ll drink a cup of buttermilk now and.....go lie down on the terrace
Under the tree
I was just going to say, don’t fall asleep
This is why I refuse to eat before finishing work.
It’s so relaxing to eat after all the work is done
It’s the opposite. You should work after you eat so you can digest the food
See what your grandmom is saying - one should work!
She keeps working! All the time
She keeps moving around - from here to there, isn’t it?
(Mumbling secretively)
It used to be the same when your grandfather was alive
Your grandafther would eat to his heart’s content and sleep there-
He would sit on that chair while eating, and I would sit on the floor outside the kitchen
and we’d eat...
One family will give away the girl
And another will bring that girl into their family
She’s Lakshmi (prosperity), so anyone would like to keep her forever!
The astrologer said that about her granddaughter!
He also said that it’s time to get her married
She may get married to a distant relative
If not, then...
He said she might have a love marriage! Oh my god...no!
A love marriage!!
What is this absurdity, love marriage!
If it’s a good one, let her do it!
Where did you find these?
They were in this box
I had brought some old belongings from Pune before her parents moved abroad
This small shell is good for doing prayers
Right? Good to keep in the mandir (temple)
No! These are my childhood memories
Okay woman! Keep all your childhood memories!
(to crew) She wants to keep her childhood with her! What to do about this?
Now you’ll get married soon! You won’t even realise when!
No! -Isn’t it?
(to crew) isn’t it, Rahul! Let her keep these things till she gets married, then we’ll see...
See the boy is laughing. Isn’t it aunty?
Isn’t it important to keep her mementos?
Where did I put the stick?
Where did you? -There, outside
You miss him a lot don’t you?
Of course
We lived together for 51 years...
Of course I miss him
You two never even fought?
No, never
I did not like fighting, so I would reach an understanding
If we got mad, we wouldn’t talk to each other
Then we’d start talking again...what to do
In that case, when you were not talking to each other, who was the first to try and make conversation again
Me, of course
Do you know why?
He would have to go far away to office
So, to avoid any unfortunate events...I would accept defeat
He was not okay with the silence either
Who did he have, apart from me?
I didn’t have anyone else, nor did he
We never caused a scene by fighting
Our kids wouldn’t even be aware that we are not talking to each other
And...my husband never hit our children! Not even once! Ever
Your aunt was stubborn, so I used to beat her sometimes
But they were still scared of grandad right?
Yes, they were always scared of him. And that was necessary -Why were they scared?
Well because, he was strict
My sister used to live near our place, just one street across
When it was time for your grandad to come home from work, the kids would run like the wind to be home before him
Kids should be afraid of at least one parent
Kids who are not afraid, nothing comes of them. No education, no work
My sister’s kid’s lost bank jobs despite getting opportunities and good pay
Is it not possible to raise kids without making them feel afraid?
It is possible...but our kids were scared
Even if my husband didn’t say anything, the kids would be scared
Your aunt used to be relaxed...your father used to be afraid
Like I said, they were just scared. But he didn’t ever hit them. You can ask your father
I’d always have to be careful
He would get furious over the smallest of things
If I was playing, and he was listening to the radio, and I make a noise accidentally...
He would shout at me a lot
It never felt as if he was happy to have us around
He never made me feel like I am a son that he likes
It was mostly just shouting and scolding
He never hit me...but just one look from him had the same effect
By the time he started respecting my mother, it was too late
Almost their entire life, his approach to her was “She knows nothing”
If she expressed herself, especially to oppose him-
He wouldn’t hesitate to insult her
He would reprimand her saying “What do you know!” even in public
So, mom also lived in constant fear
She would always ensure that nothing she does would anger him
Which is why they never fought a lot
When I was little, I thought that this is how a normal husband-wife relationship is
My father’s mother, my grandma, lived with us for a year
My father wouldn’t talk to her
I remember, when he would scold us, his eyeballs would move upwards
and my grandmother used to do the exact same with her eyes while scolding us...
Is the net in the sink effective?
It’s good. I want another one
I’ve bought two
That’s for her
For my aunt? -Yes
I’ll order another one then
It cost 90 rupees, right?
or 100 rupees?
99 rupees I think
100 rupees it is
No need to buy anything else, everything is there at home
Whatever is there, I will use it till the end. I won’t buy anything new
Until my death
What if it takes another 10-15 years?
Oh gosh! No, no, no
I don’t want that at all
I hope I pass away before this building goes for redevelopment
This box of ghee, I’ll wash it myself. If I put it with the rest of the dishes, everything will become oily
You were telling aunty the other day that you’ll live until I am married. What if I take another 10-15 years?
Hey! Don’t do that
See, it’s not about that. You like kids, don’t you?
So you can’t delay-
I like kids in general, but I don’t know if I want to have kids -You need to have at least one!
If you don’t have one, who will look after you when you are old?
Think about it, and get married at the right time. Don’t be too late
If you get married when you’re 30, or 10 years after that, there’s no use of it
30 is your deadline
Do you know what happened to my best friend’s daughter?
Who?
My best friend’s daughter, Prerana...
She and a boy were colleagues....
The boy was prepared to marry her, she was also kind of ready
The boy’s family was conservative. They insisted that she only wear sarees, keep her head tucked inside the cloth
My best friend told her daughter, “if you’re fine with it, go ahead, but don’t complain later”
So she said no, and now she’s still unmarried! She’s 32...or 33. She’s 33
One should get married, no matter what
You were always with my father when you were little
I have such beautiful memories of the two of you together
I don’t have any such memories of my own childhood
He really loved you...
All you’d have to do is phone him once and ask him to visit
He’d immediately get on a bus and travel 70km to see you
He really, genuinely loved you.
He would play with you, tell you stories...
Seeing that would make me feel, “This is not my father”
That was the extent of his transformation with you
I used to be shocked....When I was little, he never embraced me
I don’t remember even one instance of it
All the love accumulated in their hearts...where does it go?
And where will this sadness go?
When I used to come here as a kid, I’d notice that this puffed rice is always there