‘The news hour with Peggy Walker on BBC Radio Cumbria.’
‘South Lakes resident Archie Workman, the man whose work tidying roadside
verges in the Colton area, led to a passion for drain covers.’
‘Yes, this is the story.’
Job satisfaction’s 110%.
We got a lot of rain here
and last night, horrendous thunderstorm.
Lancaster flooded, but Colton Parish didn't
because the drains were all clear.
First of all, I like working in the fresh air.
Well, one chamber full of mud and leaves.
Of course, your lying with your legs in the road and your head down.
I've had people saying, was I praying?
For some, I'm a local hero.
For others, I'm definitely a local weirdo.
I get lots of plaudits from people just passing in the car
saying, “Well, done mate, keep it up.”
Yeah, I'm the lengthsman around here.
Oh, these ladies are from Ulverston.
Oh, right, well they’ll know me then.
Well, a lengthsman is a medieval term
for a road worker who looks after a length of road.
There used to be hundreds of them in the UK
but when mechanisation came in in the sixties they died out.
I’m one of a small handful of lengthsman left in the country.
My parish, Colton Parish, employs me
and I have 20 square miles
and an awful lot of drains.
Some of the drain chambers have been full of mud and grit and gravel
for about 20 years.
I dig them out by hand.
Interesting thing about these drains,
they're all from Wigan.
This is probably the oldest drain cover I have ever found in Cumbria.
When I saw this the first time I went, ‘Wow’.
Really lovely drain and it's been made in 1880-odd.
I just love the big holes in the grid.
It reminds me of somebody being in prison.
It's fantastic.
Some people discover music, some people discover new places to visit.
My passion is finding new drains I've never seen before.
Yeah, it's a bit of a treasure hunt.
I take photographs of all the drains that I've cleaned.
And I thought, hang on a minute.
Wow, this is incredible.
And that's when I really got hooked.
I was amassing a collection of photographs of drain covers,
and I thought, hey, I've got something here, I'll make a calendar.
I only made six, and I gave one to the Parish clerk
and some friends, and I gave one to the media.
Now, a South Cumbrian man
who's found a bit of fame for his love of the history of drain covers.
Archie Workman got into the slightly unusual hobby
through his work as a lengthsman for the Colton Parish Council.
Well, a film being shot this week
is destined for film festivals right around the world.
Now, Archie, just remind us, how did your enthusiasm
for drain covers of all things actually start?
Well, I began about three years ago now.
How time flies when you're digging drains.
Our parish clerk knocked on the door,
said would I be interested in helping the Parish be their lengthsman?
And then I believe BBC Radio Cumbria,
it could have even been our reporter,
Neil Smith, started sticking his beak in
and we got the story about your enthusiasm on air, didn’t we?
We met one morning outside a drain in Tottlebank on a freezing cold morning.
Good morning, Mike.
Yes, from the Tottlebank crossroads above Penny Bridge.
Now, in the verge here,
it's not gurgling this morning
because despite the rain last night there isn't actually any water
flowing down into this particular drain, but this was a drain
that featured in a limited edition calendar of drain covers
that Archie Workman had produced for friends.
I just made it as a joke, really, and it backfired big time on me because
the reporter said, “You'll get lots of people wanting one.”
I said, “No, they won't,”
and then hundreds and hundreds of people wanted one.
Archie Workman, thank you very much for popping into the studio.
And something tells me they might just be the latest
rather than the last chapter on this and they’ll be more
on this roller coaster about the drains to come in future.
Don't reach for your remote,
but we've got one of the dullest men in Britain in the studio.
‘Archie lives in Cumbria and has long been captivated by drain covers...’
‘And our interview with the self-confessed drainspotter...’
‘And an eccentric form of celebrity.’
When the article in the Metro hit the press
Leland Carlson of the Dull Men's Club
rang me and said,
“Hey, Archie, how would you like to
come in our calendar and be Mr. March?
The press went ballistic.
It is our esteemed privilege to award you
our Dull Men’s Club cap, wear it with pride.
It’s just fantastic.
It’s the highlight of my career.
And within seven days...
Oh, I tell you, it’s a gift, we’ve got a beauty for you this morning.
Good morning.
They are some of the dullest men in Britain.
The most unlikely of pin-ups, they include...
Archie Workman.
Archie Workman, who is a drainspotter.
The drainspotter.
Their mundane new calendar could well become a best-seller.
Mentioned on the BBC.
‘Have I Got News For You.’
They wanted a calendar, so I had to send them one.
‘Loose Women.’
And ‘The One Show.’
I took a phone call one day from an organisation in Southport
called ‘The Gridders’
and they thought they were the only people who saw
the beauty in drain covers
and they said, would I like to come to their AGM?
So I got the train
and there they were, at the end of the platform,
30 people standing with mobile phones and cameras cheering
and they made me their president.
There was another round of publicity.
I was in The Telegraph, the Daily Express, the Daily Mail,
Independent on Sunday, French newspapers,
I ended up in Germany.
One of my daughters said, “You're in De Bild.”
My God.
I lit the blue touch paper,
but the firework has fizzed off around the planet.
We've unleashed a global phenomenon
and that's amazing, isn't it?
I mean, how many of my stories go global within seven days?
It doesn't normally happen.
What could come next?
The phone rings.
It's a ladies magazine.
We want to interview your wife.
She says, “Well...
it's a bit like living with Brad Pitt.”
I quite enjoy the sort of fame that goes with being a ladies pin-up.
A lot of people like a man in a uniform, don't they?
I have another phone call
from the local Conservative Party
and they say we're having a fundraising evening.
We understand you could probably come and talk about your drains.
So I said, “Yeah, I'll be delighted.”
They're going to pay me.
Once that’s hit the press,
in come the phone calls from the Women's Institute,
the University of the Third Age, and the Rotary Club of Carlisle
and the Rotary Club of Carlisle South.
Well, yes, tonight the Drainspotter, Archie Workman,
is actually in Carlisle,
giving the latest in what is growing demand
for after-dinner speeches about drains.
And this is your talk, ‘My Life in the Gutter’,
which is being delivered to some packed houses
up and down the county.
The people who are going to hear you tonight,
what are they going to get to hear then?
They're going to hear a little bit about my life story.
I began in the gutter playing marbles at the age of five,
and now some years later, I'm still in the gutter.
So Stan Laurel is the celebrity of Ulverston.
Maybe I'll be the next one.
Will you please put your hands together
and greet Archie Workman please for his talk on
Welcome to My Life in the Gutter.
There's an adrenaline rush.
How many of you have driven around today
and noticed a dirty road sign?
After 5 minutes and initial first nerves
I wanted to do it again.
I suddenly realised Ulverston was
the drain capital of Cumbria.
Where do I want to take it?
Gosh.
One of my aspirations is to
write a book about drainspotting.
There's a book in everybody, isn’t there?
It’s a medieval solution to a modern problem that we have today.
My ambition is to get one of my calendars
and have a trip to an American chat show.
You push it through the hole,
turn it around, and I pull them right out.
It was very interesting.
I didn't know there was so many different types of drains.
Verdict?
Ten out of ten.
And I think that's it.